Mistress is 'soul mate'; lines crossed with other women

COLUMBIA — Gov. Mark Sanford, already struggling to salvage his family and his political career after admitting a scandalous affair, added explosive details Tuesday, including more visits with the mistress he calls his "soul mate" and additional women in his past.

Mary Ann Chastain
AP

In an interview over two days with The Associated Press, Gov. Mark Sanford said he still hopes to reconcile with his wife, on the heels of admitting that his Argentine mistress is his 'soul mate' and that he had 'crossed lines' with a handful of other women.

The once-promising presidential prospect said he is committed to reconciling with his wife, but professed to The Associated Press his continued love for the Argentine woman at the center of the firestorm that gutted his political future.

In emotional interviews over two days, he said he would die "knowing that I had met my soul mate."

Sanford also said that he "crossed the lines" with a handful of other women during 20 years of marriage, but not as far as he did with his mistress.

"There were a handful of instances wherein I crossed the lines I shouldn't have crossed as a married man, but never crossed the ultimate line," he said.

Sanford insisted his relationship with Maria Belen Chapur, whom he met at a dance spot in Uruguay eight years ago, was more than just sex. "This was a whole lot more than a simple affair. This was a love story," Sanford said. "A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day."

Even with the latest revelations, Sanford maintains he is fit to govern and has no plans to resign. "I've been able to do my job and in fact excel at it," he said, while acknowledging that he is a spectator at his "own political funeral."

During more than three hours of interviews over two days at his Statehouse office, Sanford said he is trying to fall back in love with his wife, Jenny, even as he grapples with his deep feelings for Chapur.

"I owe it too much to my boys and to the last 20 years with Jenny to not try this larger walk of faith," he said.

Sanford detailed more encounters with his mistress than he had disclosed during a rambling, emotional press conference last week.

And he delivered a personal check late Tuesday for nearly $3,000 to reimburse the state for a 2008 state-funded trip to Argentina during which he visited Chapur, and he insists no public money was used for any other meetings with her.

House Speaker Bobby Harrell said it is premature to heed calls from those in his own party to remove Sanford.

"I want to see what the investigation finds before I'm willing to discuss that topic," said Harrell, a Charleston Republican.

However, at least 10 of 27 Republican state senators have called for Sanford to resign.

Sanford acknowledged in the AP interviews that he had casual encounters with other women while he was married but before he met Chapur. They took place during trips outside the country to "blow off steam" with male friends.

"What I would say is that I've never had sex with another woman. Have I done stupid? I have. You know you meet someone. You dance with them. You go to a place where you probably shouldn't have gone," Sanford said. But he said those encounters were nothing like his relationship with Chapur.

"If you're a married guy, at the end of the day you shouldn't be dancing with somebody else. So anyway, without wandering into that field, we'll just say that I let my guard down in all senses of the word without ever crossing the line that I crossed with this situation," he said.

Sanford also detailed more visits with Chapur, including an encounter he described as a failed attempt at a farewell meeting in New York last winter, chaperoned by a spiritual adviser and sanctioned by his wife soon after she found out about the affair.

But he saw Chapur over Father's Day weekend and after his wife expressly told him not to, leaving the country without telling his staff and instead leading them to believe he was hiking the Appalachian Trail.

By the time he returned to a puzzled public, staff and family, his public image and emotional state had unraveled. He admitted the affair at a news conference televised nationally, but at the time said there were only four meetings with his mistress.

Sanford told the AP he saw Chapur five times over the last year, including two romantic, multi-night stays with her in New York, one in Manhattan, one in the Hamptons, both paid for in cash so no one would know, before they met in the city again with the intention of breaking up.

He said he saw her two other times before that, including their first meeting.

"There was some kind of connection from the very beginning," he said, though neither that first encounter nor a 2004 coffee date in New York during the Republican National Convention were romantic.

Their relationship turned physical, he said, during a government trip to Brazil and Argentina in June 2008; and when he returned, the e-mails that had started years earlier began to reflect anguish over what they had done.

"Now I am frightened," he told the AP, describing his state of mind at the time. "It was before safe. But now it's not safe. We gotta put the genie back in the bottle."

Sanford said he first became aware officials were looking for him Monday evening, June 22, four days after his departure for Argentina, when he checked his cell phone voice mail.

"I was reached ultimately on Monday evening," he said. "I was contacted and called (chief of staff) Scott (English) back that Tuesday morning."

He and Jenny, parents of four sons, say they are trying to reconcile their marriage but have not been sharing the same house for several weeks.

Jenny Sanford found out about the relationship in January when she discovered a letter the governor had written to his mistress.

Excerpts from AP interview

Quotes from Mark Sanford's wide-ranging interview with The Associated Press, conducted in his Statehouse office over two days:

On other women he encountered but before he met his Argentine lover, Maria Belen Chapur: "What I would say is that I've never had sex with another woman. Have I done stupid? I have. You know you meet someone. You dance with them. You go to a place where you probably shouldn't have gone. ... If you're a married guy at the end of the day you shouldn't be dancing with somebody else. So anyway without wandering into that field we'll just say that I let my guard down in all senses of the word without ever crossing the line that I crossed with this situation."

On meeting Chapur for coffee during the Republican National Convention in New York in 2004: "I remember there was an older couple sitting to our right, and I remember them watching us, in the way that we interacted. They could see a spark, or, I don't know what you'd call it, but there was something there."

Sanford Scandal

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On reconciling his affair while people were talking about him as a possible 2012 presidential candidate: "You kept compartmentalizing. That one is incredibly important in terms of the ramifications. And my passion for the world of ideas that impact this country and state. Um, the other was tied to, well what's different between left brain and right brain, is what it is. One was about these different concrete things I've been working on. And the other, the other is tied to (long pause) the pursuit of happiness. Whatever that is."

On his most recent trip to see Chapur in Argentina: "No, she knew I was coming. Didn't believe I was coming, but I got down on one knee and said I am here in the hope that we can prove this whole thing to be a mirage."

On weighing his political career against his relationship with her: "I will be able to die knowing that I had met my soul mate. But it was one of those things, I knew the cost."

On trying to deal with his feelings for her: "It's about incredibly deep conflicts, between one's heart and one's value system, and an 8 1/2-year wrestling match on that front."

MARK SANFORD

BORN: May 28, 1960, in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
EDUCATION: Bachelor's degree in business from Furman University; master's in business administration degree from University of Virginia.
CAREER: Real estate businessman.
PARTY: Republican.
POLITICAL EXPERIENCE: Was elected governor in 2002 and 2006. Served in the U.S. House for three terms before honoring a term-limits pledge and leaving office in 2001. Was mentioned as a potential 2012 presidential contender before the scandal broke.
PERSONAL: Married Jenny Sullivan in 1989; four sons.
QUOTE: "The problem with funerals is that someone has to die or something has to die. Obviously I've been dealing over the last couple of days with my own political funeral, if you will, in terms of other prospects that might or might not have come."